What has become the most controversial stance? Evolution and any attempt to express love for its perfection. Yes, nature is “too toxic” to adore. If you cheer for nature these days, you’re seriously skirting hate laws. Mother Nature? You had better censor that bitch before your videos get de-monetized. This is a world of fearful cowards, opportunists and cretins. They’ve ruled that nature’s process of evolution is just too amoral to abide and not at all conducive to equity. -“It’s not fair!” they cry. The splendid cruelty of evolution is indeed not fair. Or, is it so deeply fair that those who stand to perish simply cannot accept the greater service they provide?
Take drug addiction for example. Some of my all-time favourite authors were drug-addicted: Burroughs, Dick, Thompson, Williams etc. I clearly do not want to see a purification of society or a drug-free utopia where everyone is happy and healthy. No. That would be helishly boring. The thing is, there are junkies who are addicts because they’re brilliant and life is hard for people who think and feel on their level. Then, there are the vast majority of junkies who are merely drug-addicted shit people.
Captain Fraser was asked about fentanyl during a recent marketing trip to Amsterdam:
-“I remember first seeing what fentanyl could do in 2009.” he said a little too loudly in the lobby of the historic Van Hendrick Hotel. Fraser then pressed forward -“It was that little Chinese girl Linda Li from Stark Trek on an episode of Intervention. She was sucking down off-scrip fentanyl lollipops and dumpster-diving clinics for discarded fentanyl patches, disgusting levels of degradation. She was climbing the walls, shitting her pyjamas, wrecking her parents and torturing her bothers. Her mental illness was obvious. She claimed she was suffering from Ehlers–Danlos syndrome so everyone felt sorry for her. Asian people never lie, right? Or, is that robots? Everyone shed a tear but me that is. I knew it was bullshit!”.
Fraser punched the word “bullshit” a little too loudly as he simultaneously punched Amsterdam’s Nevit22 News Lars Jansen in the arm. They weren’t quite prepared for a lengthy interview. When confronted by Fraser’s charisma, they simply couldn’t stop shooting. The hotel sent two security guards to tend to the scene as the “Live With Lars” interview proceeded and a crowd slowly gathered.
-“I had seen the sirens of Wuhan and Hangzhou with my own eyes when I was freebooter.” said Fraser. “There’s a special vein of deep down crazy running through the House of Li. They’re all descendants of Lao Tzu and batshit crazy just below the surface. That guy Vincent Li who beheaded that kid on a bus and ate his ears, same shit. Hollywood had scraped that protective layer off of Linda Li and left exposed the ego of a selfish screaming halfwit junkie. The shit she put her parents through, that’s the only sin there. And the worst part – she lived! In and out of treatment for years, she eventually got herself methadoned into sanity and now spends her days trashing her family on Reddit. I tells ya, there’s a special ergonomic chair in the devil’s own hell for junkies like that.”
After taking a moment to light up a pipe and after he had completely ignored the hotel’s strict no smoking policy, Fraser took a somber tone and looked directly into the camera as he concluded his impromptu screed…
-“I tell you here Amsterdam, selfish retroactive abortions walk amongst us begging for death! A truly civilized culture would oblige them! Thank God for powerful equalizers like carfentanil, isotonitazene or any synthetic opioid birthed from the nitazenes. They’re killers who will soon devastate the junkie world and they cannot arrive fast enough! We need a purge, a PURGE!” Fraser yelled with bulging yellow eyes as he wrapped his arm around a trembling Nivit22 producer’s shoulder. -“Fuck your feelings about addiction as a ‘disease’ and not propagating ‘stigma’ as you coddle these assholes with the milk of methadone. Fuck your clinics and treatment programs! The very best drug program for a junkie is DEATH. They were never meant to live! They were born to die and serve as cautionary reminder to any hapless Buddhist flirting with reincarnation. Let the true Zen of a Jolly Roger fly high! Balance yields consequence! That’s nature’s own breast abruptly dry of milk! That’s Darwin’s own evolution slapping some sense into your gene pool. That’s God himself who cut that lot of desomorphine and smuggled it up his own ass at the airport. Let the man work!”
As Fraser hurried away late for dinner, an excited international crowd of travellers broke into applause. The Nevit22 news crew wrapped up and promptly elected to buy each other a round of drinks. Captain Fraser has that effect on people. These days he’s a generous dose of shock and awe roaming the symposium scene in tweed trousers. With his verve and memory intact, no one would ever suspect that he too is a synthetic version of himself.
