This potato in my sink protects me from the virus. My government tells me I’m fully protected now. They lied about annual flu deaths but they’re telling the truth about this virus now that billions are at stake. They even told us we could stop wearing masks. The government admits the potato no longer prevents infection from Omicron but, if I catch this virus, the potato will keep me out of the hospital. Over 80% of people now have a potato in their sink. When they caught the virus their symptoms were mild. That’s proof that the potato works! It’s saving lives. Asking for proof that the potato works is “anti-science” and a bannable offense. Comparing this virus to the flu, even when only discussing data collection, is a bannable offense. Asking if the government collects reliable data on any virus or its survival rate is a bannable offense. Omicron is less deadly because of the potato. Asking if that’s a false correlation is a bannable offense.
If they don’t collect that information, how do they know that their policies will work? This is called faith-based medicine.
– Dr. Tom Jefferson
A celebrity on the news has the virus and says -“I have it but my symptoms are mild. Thank God I had a potato in my sink!”. An ugly woman in Florida regrets catching the virus after refusing the potato. With tearful eyes she looks into the camera and says -“Do I have regrets? You betcha. As soon as I get better, I’m gonna put a potato in my sink.” The goal right now is to get a potato in everyone’s sink. Don’t lock down. Don’t wear N95 masks. Don’t test. Don’t restrict international travel. Don’t install proper ventilation systems in schools, hospitals or new condo buildings. Don’t properly fund the healthcare system. Don’t work on a cure! Don’t change anything at all. All you need is this potato. My government says the virus is “endemic” now. When everyone in the world has a potato in their sink and everyone catches this virus, this pandemic will be over. Asking questions about new variants, more dangerous mutations or reinfection is a bannable offense. A potato in your sink is the only way to return to normal. You could have died without this potato, now look – you’re alive!
Canadians are in danger of dying from the flu, using the highest estimate. Another way to look at it is this: 99.98 per cent of Canadians will not die of flu this year.
– Dr. Michael Gardam
It’s washed but not peeled, wet and gleaming bright in the sun like only the answer to a pandemic can. It’s not a magic potato – it’s “science”. If you disrespect the potato or doubt its efficacy you’re probably a racist, a misogynist and a murderer. If you’re fighting for custody of your children, you had better have a potato. If you have a potato in your sink, you’re better than those who do not. Vote for me because I “procured” a potato for you. Pointing out that potato producers are funding my campaign is a bannable offense. We’re charging you an average of $35.00 for a potato. That may seem expensive for a potato but you simply don’t understand the hidden costs of potato production. Questioning the price of a potato is a bannable offense. When your potato wanes, my government will deliver a replacement potato. Book an appointment and line up to get a new potato every six months. Line up again to vote for me so I can sign contracts that forever deliver your future potato. We will arrest anyone who refuses to keep a potato in their sink and we will charge them hefty fines. We will do this until people rise up and reject the potato.
