Let’s say it again for those who just don’t get it – everything Chrystia Freeland touches turns to shit. Ask the Reuters home office about her...
Continue reading...Archive
Captain Fraser’s Apology
Berkeley, California, November 26th, 2024From the desk of Professor Everett J. Auclair,Faculty of Sociology, University of California, Berkeley “Sir, it is with great respect that I...
Continue reading...Justine Bateman
Just when you think it’s hopeless and there’s no one left with the courage to speak up, someone comes along and surprises you. I’ve always liked...
Continue reading...Cartoon Darkness
Do yourself a favour and grab the new Cartoon Darkness album by Amyl & The Sniffers. The whole thing is pure fire like Amy Taylor herself....
Continue reading...P’nut Haruspicy
I’m an exhausted haruspex in the hallway of winter. Before any significant American election, these are the darkest nights. Winged messengers fly backwards and burst into...
Continue reading...The Lighthouse
What no one ever tells a disappointed man (or woman) is that, after a long life of opinions and hard work, life amounts to little more...
Continue reading...The Democrat Shuffle
Though I loathe to admit it, DeSantis is right when he describes Biden’s current and possible second term as a Weekend at Bernie’s Presidency. And DeSantis...
Continue reading...Smells Like Ted Kaczynski
In the category of Father’s Day gifts you’ll actually enjoy giving every year, it’s the “Smells Like Ted Kaczynski” scented candle. It’ll set the mood while...
Continue reading...Data Effluent Stew
Data effluent will soon grace your lovely ankles. At this very moment, AI is scraping the teeming floor of our data oceans. Every single data-collecting corporation...
Continue reading...Alexei Navalny Dies
I’m going to miss Alexei Navalny. He was a charming and skilled anti-corruption finagler before he sold out to racist Nationalism. Politicians like Navalny and Trump...
Continue reading...Gods Of Reality
The kids aren’t to be envied. They’re adrift in simulacra. They’ve been curated, scheduled and surveilled to the point of complete dislocation from reality. They dance...
Continue reading...Their Law – Emergencies Act
Buckle up buttercup! We’ve hit a pocket of karmic black ice. Can you feel that beautiful sideways slide? Today I’ll make a donation to the Canadian...
Continue reading...P2P Hog Futures
How’s that pale high-horse riding Canada? How’s the view up there with a cloud of flies circling your weary head? How do things smell in the...
Continue reading...Thomas Pynchon
Like a vet examining a very pregnant sacred cow, I am armpit deep into Gravity’s Rainbow by Thomas Pynchon. It’s warm, constricted and I’m pretty sure...
Continue reading...Fraser’s Shanghai Surprise
Dear Mr.Putnam, Your lovely spinster sister has informed me that you soon sail for the docks of Shanghai. There, you plan to voluntarily submit yourself to...
Continue reading...Touched By Fire
I simply cannot be the only person who lurks real estate listings for the laughs. At times it’s just a giggle but sometimes it’s prolonged howling...
Continue reading...The Twilight World
Do yourself a favour – don’t read The Twilight World by Werner Herzog, let Herzog read it to you. Most audio book sites (like Audible) now...
Continue reading...Nazis Again
Nazis again! Now it’s Nazis getting standing ovations in Canadian Parliament. Who is shocked and surprised? No educated person of conscience is surprised by the hubris...
Continue reading...Fraser’s Local Concern
Letter to Bridget Whelan, Montréal, April 11th, 1869 “Hell is a local concern. Don’t banish your enemies to prisons when a self-sustaining hell looms around each...
Continue reading...Two Wolf Yarn Barn
Returning to the comedy edge of the Maritime real estate scene, we find new listings blooming through fresh snow. Today, for a little more than half...
Continue reading...Love Shack
Have I mentioned lately just how much I adore N.B. real estate listings?
Continue reading...The Peacemongers
Defiance is something stupidity can never hope to comprehend from within the fearful concrete structures of cowardice. Andrew Coyne decried pacifists as “the objective allies of...
Continue reading...Albert County
We cool off in Albert County during these heat waves. Waterside beach crawls with frustrated tourists by day. Locals come out at night and settle into...
Continue reading...Friends vs. BRICS
BRICS is like that episode of Friends where it’s revealed that Phoebe moved out of Monica’s apartment weeks ago while secretly moving one piece of furniture...
Continue reading...Honeybunch Erasure
Brace yourself Honeybunch, I’ve got some bad news for you. You hate negativity, I know, but this may actually save your life one day. You know...
Continue reading...Profit Margin Nazis
Looks like Matthew Cunningham-Cook beat me to it, and I’m glad because the weather is nice and I’m a fundamentally lazy individual. For Jacobin he reviews...
Continue reading...Europe’s Pretty Mouth
Contrary to popular belief, I’ve never wasted my green days away hating things. Hate is blinding and far too much work while our winters are far...
Continue reading...Peak Reuters 卐
Can Reuters go a single day without accidentally revealing Ukraine’s Nazi problem? This time it’s a photo credited to Ivan Alvarado, which they have yet to...
Continue reading...Dein Atem Kalt
Let us talk about Wagner and Nietzsche. Nietzsche excited Wagner’s imagination with revolutionary ideas that were hundreds of years ahead of their time. On his part...
Continue reading...Your Nazi Blind Spot
If you cannot see the connecting Nazi ideology which links these next individuals, you may be going blind. This connection is not only obvious it’s fully...
Continue reading...A Line-storm Song
The line-storm clouds fly tattered and swift, The road is forlorn all day, Where a myriad snowy quartz stones lift, And the hoof-prints vanish away. The roadside flowers,...
Continue reading...War Tourism
In Przemyśl – Ada Wordsworth describes her work on the Polish border. It’s hard to believe anyone can look at this press spectacle yesterday and seriously...
Continue reading...Irish Advice
Look Ukraine, I understand nationalism. I know all about North American descendants who call themselves “true patriots” unspoiled by a prolonged and brutal occupation. I know...
Continue reading...Sardaukarization
Putin wrote a lengthy essay about Ukraine’s historic relationship with Russia. (I’d link directly to it but my government restricts access to it.) If you’re going...
Continue reading...Folkurious?
Wealthy Ontarians are buying up charming farms throughout New Brunswick but those charming farms sometimes come with hills full of splendid folksy neighbours.
Continue reading...War Memes
When people ask me how I feel about the war in Ukraine, I like to pause for drama and in my best Captain Highliner voice I...
Continue reading...Merci Chrystia
Alderaanfreude – n. The secret joy one feels when a foe’s homeland is utterly destroyed immediately after their deceitful attempt to secure it. It’s an obscure...
Continue reading...Deep Fake Psychosis
The CBC glows hot with lies and propaganda this winter. At the beginning of this war David Common showed us the image of Ukraine’s tiny green...
Continue reading...Fraser’s Fenian Fire
In 1865, after a rousing Fenian speech in the back room of a riverside gentleman’s club, Captain Fraser was beset with the fire of rebellion. The...
Continue reading...Edith Keeler
Seamlessly she transitions, from kitten whiskers to missile guidance systems. With a glint in her eye, she banters about last night’s hockey score before tallying your...
Continue reading...The Potato
This potato in my sink protects me from the virus. My government tells me I’m fully protected now. They lied about annual flu deaths but they’re...
Continue reading...Cyberpunk 2077 – Hacking
The best part of hacking has to be all the panicked angry screaming. Suddenly sensing that they’ve been hacked, victims get desperate and begin to taunt...
Continue reading...Cyberpunk 2077 – Self
I forget just how beautiful this game is… with me in it.
Continue reading...White Supremacy
I spy with my little eye, something most people miss while they’re out in the woods. White supremacy is an ever-present part of New Brunswick culture....
Continue reading...The Kissinger AI
How is Henry Kissinger still alive? If you need a daily reminder that evil survives, there’s always the “Is Henry Kissinger Dead Yet?” Twitter bot, one...
Continue reading...Minty Gel®™
It’s Minty Gel®™ by Pfizer. Originally called Aflaxablabduflorazine, it has now been rebranded for wide distribution. It costs billions but, it will also save trillions. No...
Continue reading...Pandemic Reads
It’s a terrible time for humanity but a wonderful time for science and intellectual curiosity. Yesterday, I attended a live talk entitled “CRISPR: Rewriting DNA and...
Continue reading...The Americans
Anti-American sentiment is a pervasive and ultimately ignoble Canadian cultural tradition. The level of disdain and disrespect “nice” Canadians have for America would likely surprise most...
Continue reading...Creole Advice
It was a piece of Cajun advice handed down from a Creole great-grandmother and translated for a distant Acadian-Mi’kmaq cousin -“Only children need white people to...
Continue reading...Intelligence
“The difference between stupid and intelligent people — and this is true whether or not they are well-educated — is that intelligent people can handle subtlety....
Continue reading...Fraser’s Fresh Flowers
In early summer Captain Fraser offered fresh lilac and lupin bouquets to Fredericton’s young ladies, dockside. He felt this added a touch of scented romance which...
Continue reading...Science Is Not Science
There’s a room full of horrors at Dalhousie University. Inside you’ll find cats with their eyes sewn shut. These cats live out their last few agonizing...
Continue reading...Spork Lexicon
Language is like a fork in the eye when it’s wielded by numbskulls. These days I’m often thankful that George Carlin is dead. The excruciating daily...
Continue reading...GenX – Still Disposable
Stonehouse was a healthy widow raising a teenaged daughter. She got the AstraZeneca shot, the first shot offered to her, so that she and her daughter...
Continue reading...Real Estate Lurking (Part I)
People used to read a newspaper in the morning, now they read their news and social media feeds. It connects them to the outside world, or...
Continue reading...Fraser’s “Dry” Fredericton
In 1882 Fredericton was indeed a “dry” town under the Scott Act. This did not deter an impenitent drinker like Captain Fraser who regularly ferried spirits...
Continue reading...Broadcast Sociopath
The sociopath is drawn to broadcast media because it’s there that their shamelessness is best perceived as confidence. They’re incapable of feeling embarrassment and therefore appear...
Continue reading...Urban Decay
There was a time when I was young and blight absolutely delighted me. We revelled in the romance of urban decay, swam in its rust and...
Continue reading...Cyberpunk 2077 – Skippy
On a more cheerful note, let’s talk about Skippy! (mild spoiler alert) You find him in a dark alley. He’s an AI-driven smart pistol and the...
Continue reading...Cyberpunk 2077 – Writing
Johnny Silverhand is a “douche canoe”. That’s not a Cyberpunk 2077 spoiler, it’s just one thing said by his girlfriend that will make you say -“Wait,...
Continue reading...Hell
There is no point in discussing possibilities in the hell of submerged selves. No one answers their email here. No one wants another drink. No one...
Continue reading...Cyberpunk 2077 – Literature
I’m fascinated by the literature peppered throughout Cyberpunk 2077. A respectable effort was made to describe and flesh out several fictional works of popular literature for...
Continue reading...Dealers
Burroughs talks about the addiction of the dealer who does not use. It’s an interesting psychological phenomenon which he describes as a sort of corrosive codependent...
Continue reading...Diderotian
So Lisa Anne Aubach makes interesting Diderotian things…
Continue reading...Revised Voight-Kampff
Dear Dr.Voight, I have been contacted by the ORC in Zürich. They’ll soon be issuing a court order requesting a fully revised Voight-Kampff test (versions 1.22-2.4...
Continue reading...Cooper
Cooper was in fact the only citizen of Fredericton I had ever loved. That’s not to say there weren’t wonderful qualities in the human population, Cooper...
Continue reading...Be Scared of Everything
Be Scared of Everything by Halifax’s Peter Counter is a perfect read for the emotionally disemboweled reader looking to escape the trappings of this season. I...
Continue reading...Reservations
His favourite author is somewhat of a disappointment. There was no way to break it to him gently. He said in protest -“You admire authors who...
Continue reading...Cyberpunk 2077 – Tourism
It’s so beautiful, you can lose yourself in photo mode for hours. Does the art direction outclass the game’s mechanics? It’s possible. As with life, some...
Continue reading...Cyberpunk 2077 – Penis
Just in time for Christmas, I get to live out my life as an uncircumcised Snake Plissken with a Grinch green penis. Of course I’m playing...
Continue reading...Naked Lunch
Naked Lunch is like an interrupted fever dream, warm and roiling with madness. The lusciousness of its perfect descriptions tumble like embers onto the hardwood floor....
Continue reading...Fraser’s Pterotype
In 1886, Hobson Pterotype Co. published “Fraser’s Fine Finger System”, a typing method which encouraged women to type each letter with elaborately decorated rosewood sticks. This...
Continue reading...Demon-Haunted
I have a foreboding of an America in my children’s or grandchildren’s time — when the United States is a service and information economy; when nearly...
Continue reading...Dues
An author dies, his friends write a touching account of his significance and their time together. The deceased is celebrated as a benevolent literary figure, a...
Continue reading...Found Lost
David Lynch imagined the mysterious death of Laura Palmer and how such an event could worm its way into a town’s psyche. Twin Peaks, much like...
Continue reading...Coelacanth Chowder
Someone is barricading themselves in a house down the street. Police have closed off Montgomery, it’s all very discreet. There’s talk of drugs and guns found...
Continue reading...Halifax Central Library
So beautifully Kubrickian, I want to rent a place and see it on the side… That beautiful Dr.Strangelove style war room suspended over the plaza filled...
Continue reading...Fraser’s Fredericton
Captain Fraser, long accustomed to ferrying locals along the river, uttered a single sentence as he succumbed to consumption in the winter of 1892 -“If I...
Continue reading...“Go back to what?”
Go back to storm warning and rain delay.Go back to parchment, papyrus, vellum.Go back to land line and gravel driveway.Go back to blent, unbent light, pre-prism.Go...
Continue reading...Tourism
You’re in apple picking country with your family and friends. It’s a beautiful sunny day and together you’re walking down to an orchard along a quiet...
Continue reading...Elk’s Heart
Hunter used to write letters without hesitation, so many letters. In them he’d share random thoughts then, facetiously dare acquaintances to rebut his insults and accusations....
Continue reading...Covid-19 “Strategy”
It was last week in Fundy Park when I first realized the great Canadian Covid-19 “strategy” was an obtuse farce. There by the roadside, in the...
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